I was a depressed child. I spent a lot of time alone and even when I was around others I felt alone. My parents were not alcoholic or abusive. I started drinking with neighborhood kids at the age of 12. I felt like I stepped outside of my sad self and was able to feel happiness when I drank. My alcoholism/addiction progressed for the next six years until I was a freshman in college. I was arrested for an aggravated DWI during my freshman year. I was 18 years old and having blackouts and I justified this because of my 3.5 GPA. But the alcohol was not working anymore. I trembled and shook when I was not drinking. I had bruises and sprains that I could not explain. People started confronting me more aggressively. But what would I do without alcohol? I'd be an empty shell of a girl again. I was too frightened to even think of my life without alcohol. To pacify those around me I went to see a counselor on campus. He knew of me already as someone whom people were concerned about. He said I needed treatment. I agreed that I needed something but I was too young to stop drinking forever. I knew I was at a turning point. I could not go on like this. I agreed to go to treatment after a 24-hour blackout binge. Due to my history of seizures I remained in detox for seven days shaking and sweating. The doctor said my liver was enlarged. I remained in treatment for 28 days and got the tools I needed to stay sober. That was in May 1990. I am now a licensed social worker. I work with clients who have substance abuse and mental health issues. I am grateful that treatment was there for me, and I feel good about my job and my ability to give back to others.
